”Authentic New Yorker” Dan Ryckert

PAX Rumble IV

Canadian Dan Ryckert first appeared at PAX RUMBLE IV when he was mistaken for Dirty Dan Ryckert, who had been banned from LOH after injuring the former commissioner, Greg Miller at PAXAMANIA II. Unlike Dirty Dan, Canadian Dan is a humble indie game developer from Manitoba City. He’s an assistant manager at Maple Games and a huge fan of League of Heels wrestling. He flew to Seattle for PAX West to attend the Rumble in person and meet some of his heroes.

When Canadian Dan was spotted in the crowd and accused of being Dirty Dan, he explained he was not “the angry Taco Bell guy” and that he was just here to have a good time watching the Rumble. This brought the ire of Greg Miller, who was wheeled into the arena having been confined to a wheelchair since the vicious attack in Boston. Speaking through a voice generator and wireless keyboard, Miller called “bullshit” on this new, entirely different Dan Ryckert. But, once Greg found out that Canadian Dan was a Pateron subscriber of Kinda Funny, Greg bought in.

Right before #10 in the Rumble, it was announced that Jeff Green had bought the league and one of his first actions was reinstating Dirty Dan Ryckert as an active member of the roster. With Dirty Dan not in attendance, John Drake allowed Canadian Dan Ryckert to take his place. To further cement that he was not Dirty Dan, Canadian Dan went on a tear in the middle stages of the Rumble by eliminating each of the next four entrants single-handedly, and #16 KF.Fobwashed as well. He was eventually tossed by Teddy Dief, like so many other superstars were that day. But, in the record books, Canadian Dan has eliminated five times as many superstars from Rumbles than Dirty Dan. So, remember that.

Another Kinda Funny fan. Livin’ the dream! Gracious loser.

PAXAMANIA III

After a stellar showing at the Rumble, Canadian Dan Ryckert made his way to Boston for PAXAMANIA III. When Pat Baer challenged Eric Pope to a NYC vs Canada tag team match, Pope immediately sought the help of Canadian Dan Ryckert. Unfortunately for Pope, it was revealed that this Ryckert had just recently transferred to a GameStop in New York City and thus would be fighting on Baer’s team. Ryckert removed his winter coat and beanie knit cap to reveal a I Heart NY shirt and baseball cap.

In the match, Ryckert continued his dominating success he had in the Rumble. He eliminated Zandra and Kate Stark in the first minute of the match. But, then he got a little cocky. Maybe like a certain someone else we all know. During his taunting, Devon Gardner pulled Ryckert out of the ring from the outside, which still counts as being eliminated. When the match came down to Danika versus Devon, Ryckert got his revenge by using Pat’s controller to pull Devon out the ring, thus winning the match for Team NYC. Definitely not a move we would expect from the friendly Canadian Dan Ryckert we came to know in Seattle.

Team Canada Swerve! Authentic. Kate is out!

PAX RUMBLE V

With his successful run as part of Team NYC at PAXAMANIA III, “Authentic New Yorker” Dan Ryckert decided to use all three of his vacation days at GameStop to make the trek to Seattle to compete in the RUMBLE one more time. Apparently the success went to his head, because Dan arrived in Seattle with a new attitude. An attitude reminiscent of someone else we used to know…

Anyway, Dan spent most of his time during introductions to pass out autographed post cards of himself. Then, when he was introduced, he struck a Rainmaker pose as dozens of members of the LOH Universe hurled raw hot dogs at him. It was a truly disgusting sight to see, but Dan reveled in it. Pat Baer was so incensed by the mess of hot dogs strewn about the ring that he kicked Dan out of The Baer Caev.

Dan entered the Rumble at #16 as The Godfather and quickly realized that the LOH AV Club forgot to turn on countdowns in between eliminations and entrances. That meant that superstars only had a few seconds (instead of about 15) to get from backstage to the ring before their playable character was vulnerable to attacks. So, Dan formed an alliance with Mega Ran, who had been dominating from the beginning, to eliminate everyone as fast as they could. This unsportsmanlike play led to Dan eliminating fourteen other superstars, which broke the record that Teddy Dief had just set in 2016. When it got down to the final four, Dan stabbed Mega Ran in the back and threw him out. But, his hubris got him in the end when Dr. Tracksuit tossed Dan out to win, which was Tracksuit’s only elimination in the event.

Hot dog shower. This Canadian really loves America. Weird. In cahoots with Mega Ran. The agony of defeat.

Hometown
New York City
by way of Manitoba City, MB
Loves
Indie Games, Kinda Funny
Hates
Tacos
Twitter
@CanadianRyckert

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